It was all Tucker's fault, except not really
by monkeygirl66
Summary: So Tucker's... Manhandling causes a... Reaction in Church's body. Set in episode Nobody Liked You. I guess Lopez would have to have a human body for this to work... Slash, Church/Tucker. First time writing smut.


**So.. Hello! Shazza here! This is my first RVB fanfiction. It's also my first smutty one... Yeah, I don't think I'll do smut again... **

**I do not own Res vs Blue, Rooster Teeth do!**

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><p>"Uh... Caboose, why don't you... Uh... Go and check on Sheila?" Tucker asked the standard issue blue. He was so hoping Caboose was going to be his usual thick self...<p>

"Uhm, I think that I should stay with Church in case he needs me, his best friend."  
>...Fuck.<p>

Tucker looked meaningfully at Church. There was no way this idiot was going to listen to him!  
>So Church had a go. "Actually... Buddy... I need you to check on Sheila. Make sure she, you know, hasn't been stolen by the Reds."<br>Thank fuck for Church.

Caboose ran off, mumbling something about his "girlfriend", leaving Tucker with Church.

"Dude, you're a fucking genius."  
>Church grinned beneath his helmet. "I know Tucker. Now get a move on, you caused this fucking hard on, remember."<br>"Yeah, but not on purpose. It's not my fault that pervert Red leader decided to wire a switch into his robot's crotch!"

Church never got hard inside his suit. Ever. But, for some reason, Tucker's... Well, groping really, around his dick had made him hard. The pale blue decided not to think too hard about that (he wasn't gay, god dammit!) and just, sort of, roll with it.  
>He was hard because of this idiot (only because it'd been a while, bloody hell) so this idiot was going to... Help him.<br>Besides, his arms wouldn't reach down there, would they?

"Aw, come once Church, do I have to do this?!"

"Yes. It's your fucking fault. So suck it up and deal with if. Come on, it's just a jack off. Nothing serious."

Tucker groaned, mumbling "just for the record, I'm not gay," and swallowed every inch of his pride.

And it wasn't Church's pride, if you know what I mean.

Tucker removed the codpiece and held it in one hand; if Caboose came back suddenly, he didn't really want to get caught 'fondling' his best friends dick. Especially with Caboose's psychopathic tendencies showing as much as they were.  
>One hand was slipped inside the already unzipped, black morph suit.<br>"Holy fuck, you must be horny!" Exclaimed Tucker. Church wasn't just hard, he was rock solid.

A soft, warm hand (when had Tucker taken off his gloves?) pressed cautiously against his dick and he couldn't help the moan that rolled off his tongue.  
>Oh god. It had been so fucking long. So fucking long since someone else had touched him.<p>

Tucker really had no clue what to do, and froze when he heard a very loud moan. It didn't sound like Church...  
>Oh shit, he thought, was that actually me?! I'm getting fucking turned on by jacking off my team mate. Fuck, fuck, fuck.<br>It was too late to turn back, right? No one had to know... Except Church obviously. And he clearly didn't care, what with his panting and almost-too-quiet-to-be-heard-begs of "please fucking move your fucking hand".

Ah well. C'est la Vie or, whatever.

He gave a gentle tug and Church moaned again. Loud.  
>"Fucking shut up, you idiot! Do you want the Reds to hear us?"<br>Inside his helmet, Church bit his lip. But it felt so fucking good.

Determined to finish this, Tucker worked quickly, thumbing over the head and smoothing the sticky pre cum down the shaft. Church wasn't that big, a fact that Tucker would be teasing him about for the next few weeks. Only when Caboose wasn't in hearing though.

Church was moaning freely now, trying desperately to thrust his hips forward, to no avail. Damn legs. Tucker was so lost in the moans, he barely noticed himself take his codpiece off and slip his hand inside the suit.  
>But Church saw this and he saw when Tucker's dick... Fell out of the suit.<br>"Oh fuck, Tucker," he whispered. Tucker stiffened when he heard- he never realised how good his name sounded- this and forcefully shoved his dick back inside the damn suit. He wasn't about to cum on the roof of their base... The codpiece was shoved back on, roughly, but all the while he still stroked his friend's dick.

Something was happening to Tucker. His brain clenched up, frozen in what was going on. All his muscles were taught. Breathing hard, he felt the familiar signs drawing closer and closer.

Tucker's mind was racing. Oh fuck, I'm only going to freaking cum in my-

Church saw him shudder and came, hard when he realised that Tucker had just jizzed inside his armour.  
>Tucker laughed when he pulled out his hand and it was sticky and white.<p>

"What the HELL are you guys doing?"  
>The voice of the maroon one made Church freak out slightly. tucker stood up faster than he could ever remember moving, though he was still slightly dizzy from his orgasm.<br>"Put it back on! Now you fucktard!" He whispered to Tucker, who was doing just that.  
>"Aw crap. The Reds are here."<br>"What were you doing down there?" The orange one asked. Though he had a pretty good idea...  
>"Nothing. What are you talking about?" Even to himself Tucker sounded unconvincing. He had a feeling they had been busted. He quickly grabbed his glove and shoved it behind his back, trying to stuff his hand inside.<br>Church did his best not to moan when he saw that- fucking Tucker being dirty and turning him on again.  
>He didn't quite stop it from coming out.<p>

Griff looked at Simmons when they heard an obvious groan of pleasure.  
>"What in the Hell is going on at this base?!" Griff said, to no one in particular. Fucking queer soldiers.<p>

"Get outta here Red. Or we'll start shooting." Church looked down. He side whispered to Tucker, "you fucking ass! My codpiece is fucking upside down!"

Well, shit.

"Care you make that threat to my face?"  
>"... Ugh...No..."<br>"Yeah, I didn't think so..." Griff lowered his voice, "poof."  
>Simmons spoke up. "Woah woah woah, calm down, guys. We didn't come here to fight. W just came to give back the prisoner."<p>

Well, fuck that shit.  
>"Give him back? You can't give him back, you took him! A deal's a deal!" No fucking way did the Blues want him!<br>"Yeah? Well, forget it. We don't want him." Griff told them, pissed off.  
>"Yeah, well, you can't have another prisoner. That was our last one." Church yelled at them.<br>"Dude, what is your problem?!" Although, Griff figured he had a pretty good idea... They had interrupted what appeared to be 'special time' after all.  
>"Didn't your mother ever tell you it's impolite not to look at someone when they're talking?" Simmons asked because someone had to. Manners were overlook a lot, these days.<p>

"He's shy," came Cabooses input.  
>Well, this was just fucking great, thought Church.<br>Griff smirked inside his helmet. I bet he's shy, he figured. Dude's either got a raging hard on or he's creamed his armour.

"Caboose, shut up! Look," Church was almost at the end of his tether, " don't want him back and we don't care what you do with him. Now, if you don't mind... We'd appreciate it if you'd leave us alone. We're in the middle of something... Kinda privet... Over here."  
>Inside Tucker's head a voice screamed "BOW CHICKA BOW WOW".<br>Griff's mind agreed with him. Okay, he though, so he's got a raging hard on. Or... No, stop thinking, Griff, that's just wrong.  
>Instead he said "that's sad, he IS shy."<br>Yeah Griff, Simmons though, shy of showing us what his dick looks like. Give the guy a break.  
>"Fine." said Simmons. "Just don't come asking for him back!"<br>"We won't!" replied Tucker.

Half way back across, Griff turned around. "Last chance!"  
>"Beat it, Reds!" Church nearly screamed at them.<br>Wow, thought both Griff and Simmons, he must be really horny...


End file.
